Confident?Who Me?
Once upon a time, my children and I went to church every Sunday. It wasn’t one of those mega-churches, so people recognized one another, give or take. I mean, I recognized most faces but knew only a few names.
One day, I was walking down the hall and ran into a friend of mine. We were talking when she said something that surprised me.
“I wish I were as confident as you. Even the way you walk shows you have good self-esteem.”
Me? Good self-esteem? Confident? ME???
A few days later, I was in the supermarket looking at the titles of some of the featured articles inside. Alongside, interviews with celebrities and articles on the latest fashion trends were such things as:
“If only I could lose 10 lbs!” You can (in one week)…
Self-Esteem: You Need It! How to Get It!
If you can count up to 10 you can slim
That last one was on a cover with a young Princess Diana, who we later learned had an eating disorder.
The more I looked, the more I saw a pattern of content that I didn’t like. Every issue of every woman’s magazine talked about:
Looking or being thinner
Promoted anti-aging whatever your age
Marriage and how not to have a divorce
And, of course, how to be more confident, build your self-esteem, etc
No wonder, despite what my friend said and how I carried myself, I didn’t feel like a confident person with good self-esteem.
I decided there and then not to bring these magazines into my home, avoided looking at them in doctors’ offices and while waiting in the checkout at the supermarket, hope that the magazines there now offer better support for women. But I know there is more money to be made in keeping consumers insecure.
In many ways, my friend opened my eyes to my own innate confidence. In my most vulnerable moments, of course, I feel less than self-assured. Self-esteem, confidence, self-assurance—these are not static states. There are days when nothing can shake me and other days when I am in my bed, curled up with my pillows, trying to hide from the world.
So over 30 years ago, give or take, someone I considered a friend said to me something about how I walk with confidence, and I have held onto that. It surprised me at the time but, 30 plus years later, I think I can say, with confidence, that I feel mostly good about myself, about my life, and about my relationships. And that’s really more than enough.
How about you? Did anyone ever tell you something about yourself that surprised you? Let me know!
